Swamp mother. Noun. A female parent who does too much crap, gets really stressed out and whines a lot. And forgets the point of life.
Not one to waste time implementing wisdom (usually), I took her advice. It was really good advice after all. I slowed down. I cancelled one meeting today and postponed another. I talked to my son slowly. I focused on him. I used patience, not anger. I chose not to attempt control over him (which never works - grrrr), but to redirect him, offer him choices, play, enjoy each other.
Then suddenly, it hit me, how overwhelmed I am as a parent, how I have no idea what I'm doing. I felt like a new employee, first day on the job, looking at this kid like I was meeting him for the first time, and we're just getting to know each other. Incompetent. I am supposed to teach this child everything he needs to know for life? Who thought this up? But it's not about my knowledge, I guess. It's mostly about relationship, about time and intention, value and affection. And my son got all that today - and the day was a success. How do I know? Because before his morning nap, he climbed onto my lap, wrapped his chubby arms around me and gave me a big, long hug. A hug! Yes, that is success. And I think his IQ increased at least 10 points from all the positive attention because by 8pm he'd also learned the sound a sheep makes: "Baaaaa", complete with the bleating sound. Smartypants. Maybe he's gonna be a farmer.
Here are a few snaps of our mother-son day. The weather was frighteningly un-Marchish. So we made good use of the day by playing outside.
|Here the curly-haired adorable surveys the house pooch and prepares his approach. Don't you think he looks like a kid from a 1950's TV show with that hair and cardigan. I may have done that on purpose.|
|That is a kid-sized basketball and it's still huge. Happy he's still so wee.|
|A sick papa and out of town mama brought Mr Ashford for a visit. The boys have been friends since the womb so we always love having him over. He's quite polite. We expect him to have a wildly successful political career.|
|Oh my goodness. Did the boy find his thumb? All this time we allowed the "bink" to our chagrin only to avoid thumb usage. Drat.|