You're Two and I Love It: 50 favorite things about my toddler

Everyone always talks about how toddler years are so hard. And I feel it. But there are so many precious, wonderful, adorable things that happen now, things that will end and never happen again: the way they're learning to talk, their tiny voices, the way they extract joy from the simplest experiences. There is so much to love. So in honor of the Love Month, I'm picking 50 of my favorite things about my toddler. Enjoy!

1. You have giant, squishy cheeks
2. Your main job in the world is to play
3. You laugh at everything
4. You don't judge me
5. You give slobbery kisses
6. You are still small enough to pick up if you are having a tantrum
7. You have baby soft skin 
8. You are turning into a little boy
9. You approach the world with an enormous, contagious wonder
10. You want to try out everything 
11. You are still learning to talk and it's so cute
12. You are getting smarter by the day
13. You think cars and trucks are awesome and you shout them out when you see them
14. You think I'm hilarious
15. You don't make fun of my dancing
16. You don't have personal space 
17. You forget really easily 
18. You are easily distracted from bad behavior
19. You sleep 10 hours a night and take a 2-hour nap
20. You're starting to become a little person
21. You're still kind of a baby 
22. You let me read you bedtime stories
23. You still drink out of a sippy cup 
24. You still sleep in a crib - but you can climb out
25. You have the best giggle and it always makes me laugh 
26. You wear big boy underwear with superheroes on it
27. You don't think my breath stinks in the morning
28. You like cuddling 
29. You love people 
30. Your haircut is terribly cute 
31. You are so good-looking, I can't stop staring at you 
32. You say "Hi" the cutest way possible
33. You love being the center of attention 
34. You are great with people 
35. You are really fun to be around  
36. You're hungry to learn
37. You're curious
38. You're a great dancer
39. You always forgive me, even when I don't ask
40. You are sad when I leave
41. You are happy when I come home
42. You blow kisses to anyone, except strange, weird people
43. You love play and being happy
44. You got the best of me and Josh
45. You make sweatpants look adorable
46. You think life is awesome
47. You don't have shame about anything
48. You don't live with regret
49. You like yourself, the dog, your mom and dad, grandmas and grandpas, and all the other important people
50. You know how to make other people happy 

What If Time Never Started Over?

Today I de-cluttered, just a little. It wasn't by choice. It was forced upon me when John dragged out a drawer from my nightstand and began to gut its contents. I guess this was his forceful way of saying, "Mom, do you really need all this?"

As I took two bags of "unnecessary stuff" out to the trash, I wondered to myself why I tolerate so much clutter, especially for a self-proclaimed stuff-purger. The sock that's had no mate for years. The paperwork, teaching CDs and welcome manuals that only collect dust in piles in corners. I guess I keep it because I think, if I ever get myself together, I'm really going to need these. 

And maybe the biggest deception of all: if I keep this one lonely sock long enough, its renegade partner is sure to return. 

It occurred to me at one point that today is New Year's Eve, and I am de-cluttering, if even just a little, and by accident. Tis the season for starting over. 

But what if we never started over? 

What if we there were no New Year's celebrations, no birthdays, no holidays to mark an end to one era and the start of another? 

What if all our stuff and our days just kept collecting, heaping up on themselves? 

What would that be like? Maybe something like this. 

   -734,867.91.  That's the number of days since the year 0 AD/CE. Approximately, taking into account leap years and a Gregorian calendar change in about 1500. (See more about time here.)

  -11,415.51347. As of today, that's the number of days I have lived. (Same rule about time applies.) 

Can you imagine that? 

So you meet me, and I'm like, "Hi, I'm Sarah. I'm a social worker, wife and mom, and I'm 11, 415."

Gah! Besides sounding terrifically old - and I'm not - it's depressing. So many days. It's like counting days of imprisonment. 

The weight of it all, just stacking and stacking up. All my poor decisions, the miscalculations, the moments of pride and selfishness and myopic thinking, the lies and stretches of truth, the college majors I started on a whim, the unhealthy relationships, the nights of drinking too much. The grief of loss and death. Just piling on me. Piling on us all. 

What would that feel like, to never start over?

Without an end and a beginning, life would feel like this. [Nothingbutbonfires.com]

The need for starting over is innate in human nature. We get tangled and unraveled over trivial things, we take on more than we can carry, and the days and years of life beat us up. Sometimes we just want to give up. Except we know that some day soon, we get to start over again. It's such a relief. 

It really is a fork in the road. [www.seanorford.com]

This is why I love Jesus and all his talk of repentance. Repentance is turning around. It's starting over. It's leaving everything filthy and evil and broken and shameful at his feet and getting the beauty and glory and goodness in exchange, the wonderful things Father God intended for us to have all along. 

This is the Gospel, another word for Good News. Because it is. The starting over can happen not only every day, not only every year, but every time we ask. Every time we tell God we hate our hurtful actions, anything that separates us from him, and we let him separate that sin from us "as far as the east is from the west". 

[www.marthastewart.com]

Now that feels light, gloriously awesome. What a way to start the year. Forgiven, sparkly clean and new.

Lamentations 3:23 says: "Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning."

Five Things I Need to Remind Myself About Parenting (and Toddler Schedules too)

[Toddler Schedules: Examples and Tips from my very limited experience.]

Toddlers are in a funny but often frustrating stage. While they are learning like crazy, they have an attention span the size of their pinkie finger. 

If I had to guess, we make it harder than it is. I always want my son to be listening to Pavarotti or learning Farsi, but he only wants to eat dirt and kiss the dog. What's a mom to do? 

We moms know if a toddler isn't entertained or engaged, they will find something to engage with. Don't we know? The curiosity makes for an excellent student, if you can make the most of it.

Here are a couple pieces of advice I need to give myself about toddler parenting:
1. Schedules are good. Our brains naturally run according to rhythms. We set our kids up for success - as in, good moods and better behavior - when they know what to predict. Spontaneity is great, but your whole life shouldn't be a guessing game.

2. Like your child and have fun with him. If you are always putting out fires and find that you don't really like your child most of the time, your relationship will be adversarial and you won't build the trust you need to keep your toddler listening to you as he grows. Play is the primary communication kids have with the world. Stop your working, get on the carpet and have a tickle fight, play trains or dolls and let your inner kid out for a bit. 

3. Plan ahead. It's related to schedules, I guess, but it's good to take time early each week to think about what you want to accomplish and how you want to do it. If you want to develop your child's artistic skills, work on the alphabet or counting, you will need planned activities. And you won't do them if it's a last-minute idea. Planning ahead also goes for trips to the store or any venture out of the house. I forgot snacks at Target once, right around dinner, and you can believe I will never do that again.

4. Make getting out of the house or play dates a regular thing. Sometimes kids get cooped up or isolated and then they get bored more easily, or simply can run out all the energy they have. Going to the mall, the park or even the store feel like a nice change from the ordinary for him. I also feel like my son does better when he is with other kids his age, rather than just at home with the parents. He learns basic social skills, problem-solving and sharing, and his communication improves. 

5.Be nice to yourself. I have totally unrealistic expectations for my son and me most days. I am far too influenced by what I see on the Internet, and I'm not even on Pinterest. I am not a super cute crafty mom, and I know it looks like there are hundreds of them out there, but there are probably only three, posing as different women with different names and families. And they are making a killing. Nevermind that. I value my sanity. If we do one cool craft project a week, that is awesome!. 

Below are a few toddler schedules I find helpful. You can take what works for you and mix and match based on your own family and lifestyle. As you can see, one of the schedules are from a childcare center, while the others are personal schedules created by parents. Our schedule is still in creation mode, and it will get re-worked again when my work schedule changes in the new year. My husband stays home with our son so a lot of their activities depend on Josh's pastoral commitments. (But if we're going to raise a pastor's kid, I love that he gets to grow up with Daddy.)

Anyway, as I said, planning is a must. Unless I have my activities lined up in advance, I can almost guarantee we will be watching Netflix half the day, with me scratching my head for ideas and wishing for nap time to get here already. 

Great places for activities:
The Nurture Store - sign up for the weekly play planner via and get an activity planner each week 
Hands On As We Grow - 50 activities for toddlers 

Schedule Away. [Each image is linked to its origin.]

The answer to my prayers for patience; or When I think I will take up drinking

The Siders' house has been the headquarters of a host of eclectic maladies this week. Which is another way of saying we got nothing done. Not the Christmas shopping or the home scrubbing. Just staying alive, feeding ourselves. That was enough.

Today was our big day to knock it out, all the things that had been mercilessly stacking up, waiting to happen. Josh promised to take the lead on the errands earlier in the week, but this morning he awoke stricken with the crud.

We laid low, hoping for the Dad to be cured so he could resume his duties, but soon it was clear I would be our family Santa. I decided to take John along. It would do him good after being cooped up all week. One successful trip to the bookstore assured me our Target stop would be manageable. Even enjoyable?

Wrong.

We made it through housewares and into the grocery section when he decided his heart was set on the chocolate donuts. Not understanding the concept of currency, theft and other legalities, he attempted to pry open the package to retrieve a pastry. Being a responsible parent, I placed them back on the shelf and played it cool while he tantrumed in his timeout next to the dinner rolls. This is normal, right?

We pulled ourselves together eventually, or at least he did. Until the part where I pretended to leave him near the frozen foods. (I should know better because pretending to leave never works. He just stares at me brazen-faced while he walks the other direction.)

I hoisted his twisting, protesting body into the air as the conservative lady with the snug bun and ankle skirt looked at me with pity, knowing I hadn't read her parenting book. We needed a stop at the restroom to avoid a call to the police.

He screamed and cried and pounded the door. More angry energy than I had ever witnessed from this kid. And there we were, in the germ-infested Target bathroom. I know we both felt trapped. And I was kept thinking someone was going to hear and think I needed law enforcement's assistance to control my child. Or at least to keep from injuring him.

Maybe 10 or 15 minutes later, after one call to Dad and an attempt to videotape the tantrum for proof of what I lived through, there was a moment of silence and I made the most of it.

Not that I should be gloating here, but his relative compliance afterward may signal a mom win. Or maybe it's too early to say.

As we snuggled up in bed tonight, I whispered to him, "You are my favorite and I love you very much. Even though you were a total punk at Target." He took it well.

I think this is what God says to us after our gigantic, selfish meltdowns. That even though we are totally self-obsessed and rude, he likes us anyway, and he will still make sure we have food in our tummies and gas in our cars tomorrow.

No other agenda to writing tonight except I just had to get this crazy day off my chest. I guess I can say this:

Parenting is weird. And it sure makes me appreciate God's patience.