There's a Gap
Laura Hackett
What do I here in the waiting?
What do I do with my unsatisfied heart?
What do I here in the waiting?
Here in the tension of believing again and again and again?
There's a lack, there's a gap in my soul
Between the things that I believe and I know
There's a lack, there's a gap in my soul
Between the things, that I believe and I know
Holy Spirit, you who fill
All in all, come and fill me
Holy Spirit, come hold me together
I fall into Grace again
Like a child I am
I'm not very old, but I am old enough to know that waiting is not simply an empty act of non-movement. It is full, pregnant with possibility, a place of dreaming, hoping, imagining. It can be quite beautiful if one has faith and hope. Quite dismal on the other hand if one has grown sarcastic and bitter.
I think the real questions in it all are ones like, "Is God good?" and "Does He have my best in mind?" As in, can I be assured that all moments I survive and every situation I encounter are full of mercy, kindness and Love? They certainly do not feel that way. But if God is good, and I know more and more that He truly is, then the waiting is part of it all, part of how he "perfects a longing" in us. Waiting becomes a perfectly legitimate way to spend time.
Some of us are waiting for personal healing, a child, a husband or wife, the ideal career opening, a gift to minister to others in a more powerful way, a glimpse of Jesus to sustain us, so many things. Waiting is hard, but it's not without purpose. Hebrews said that Abraham only grew in faith as time passed before his promise to be a father was fulfilled. He grew in faith, despite the waiting. How could this happen? Only because he grew more and more to understand that circumstances were no indication of His Father's affection, that he could trust the One who made the promise because God puts His whole being behind His Word. He IS His Word, in fact: Jesus.
Even if we don't have a promise to hang onto like Abraham - an audible seal from heaven - we have the promise of God's banner of love waving over us. We have the guarantee that this rocky path we walk is a path of righteousness, and He's got his name and reputation staked on how it turns out for us. Psalms 23 reminds me, "He restores my soul; He leads me in paths of righteousness for His name's sake."
It's not about my reputation, or how I think things should go. He values my opinion certainly, but He values my love most. And my righteousness in Him allows me to love Him best. So it makes sense that, whether we're crying out for our longing or holding it in our arms, it is all for the deepening of righteousness that makes His name great in our lives and in the universe.
O Praise Him!
